On Single Fathers

On Single Fathers

Scott

The large shiny cross necklace hung around his neck. It seemed so big for such a little guy. He was being held by his father who, by the way, had on the same kind of necklace. Scott is a single dad raising a nearly two-year-old boy. They both look alike, dark crew cut hair, same eyes, nose, and sheepish grin. Scott also has a daughter. His daughter lives with his wife and his son lives with him. Scott’s tattooed arms, goatee, the bling of his jewelry, and his dark clothing make it obvious that he is not a “Ward Cleaver” kind of Dad. Those who don’t know him might never guess it, but he did more than father a child. He is a dad, one of the best I have seen. He pulls his son in a red wagon all over the neighborhood. Scott is a quiet man, sticking near his apartment, full of wisdom, and seems to be making good decisions. He holds his son with pride; he loves him unconditionally. He strives to do what is right. He protects him from the harsh realities of life that sometimes surface in the neighborhood. He spends all of his spare time with his son. He is the kind of dad that every child longs for, a dad who is building a child who will grow into a man who will respect others and be a man of integrity.

Joey

Sitting on the step of her apartment is a beautiful black-haired wearing a frilly white dress. She had been watching me knock on all the doors of the apartment building. As I came to her house, she informed me that her father was home and it was OK to knock. I knocked on the door and he opened the door. I explained that I was collecting food for Katrina hurricane victims to be loaded on a truck and sent to Mississippi. He invited me in; his apartment was neat and his kitchen was clean. He opened his cabinets and began to pull out food, a can of beans, some corn, and a dented can of tomato paste. He gave me all that he could spare. In our conversation, I learned that he worked at a meat-processing company about twenty-five miles away. He thanked me when I told him he had a beautiful daughter. He looked so young. I took a bold step, asked his age, learning he was twenty-three years old. When I asked about his daughter, he proudly told me that she was six. I’m not too good at math but twenty-three minus six leaves seventeen. A seventeen-year-old with a child. I had trouble imagining that. He then told me that he had raised her by himself since his daughter was a baby. I immediately asked if he diapered her, feed her, and bathed her. “Of course”, was his answer. “If not me then who?” He explained that the ’s mother abandoned them and he doesn’t know where she is. He tried to stay in high school, work, and raise a child on his own. That didn’t work well so he quit school. He, too, is a good dad, who is concerned with his daughter. When gas prices got too high, he collected soda cans at the cook-outs. Times are very hard, yet he works everyday. He worries about raises, because it causes his rent to increase. He tries to get ahead but he soon finds himself behind. He is often tempted to give up, but he goes on for only one reason…..his daughter.

Marcos

Marcos was living the All American Dream. He and his wife are college-educated, were holding down good jobs, living in a middle-class neighborhood, in a nice house, driving nice cars, living a good life. They had two sons who could easily pass as twins. Everything was going well until the older one contracted cancer. The strain of doctor appointments, hospital stays, and chemo treatments became so difficult that the marriage fell apart. It was so stressful his wife disappeared, and there is little contact with her. Marcos had to quit his job in order to drive his son to Indianapolis several times during the week for treatment. He soon lost everything and was forced to move out of his house into public housing. He had no idea that he would lose it all. Marcos is a single father who refuses to give up. He keeps moving forward. He scrapes each month to provide his boys with the necessities of life. His sons are polite, well groomed, yet all boy. Marcos is always positive. His great love for his children caused him to sacrifice, not just some things but everything. By the way, his son is in remission.