Thursday, December 21, 2006

Andrew

Andrew

He is never on the porch, rarely seen in the neighborhood, all but invisible. Andrew lives in the living room of his mom’s one- bedroom apartment, sleeping on the couch. Andrew struggles; his is an everyday struggle. Growing up without a father seems to be where his struggle originated. Andrew was and is invisible to his father as he is to most in the neighborhood. Andrew works at jobs that are invisible - - - fast food, back room types of jobs. He was invisible in school, disappearing in the ninth grade, with few noticing that he was even gone. Andrew gravitated toward those who could see him, who would validate him, and who would accept him just as he is without judging. Andrew has a handful of friends. Andrew was married for a short time and has a six-year-old daughter that spends every weekend with him and his mother.

I have the awesome opportunity to visit Andrew every week in his living room. I have experienced a side of Andrew that few have seen. Andrew is very, very intelligent. With a little coaching and some math review, he could easily get his GED, and there is no doubt he could go to college. He would like to be a social worker. He has a passion for music. He plays a bass guitar and writes music. He has the dream of having his own apartment, buying a car, having a full-time job, and taking financial responsibility for his daughter. He looks for the day when he can buy a left-handed bass guitar and get back to his music. His guitar was pawned long ago so that he could survive. He wants to live a “normal” life and he wants it now, though he is learning to take one day, or should I say one step, at a time. He is actively working on securing his own place to live and is jobhunting. I am encouraged in our weekly visits by the steps that he is taking to become self-sufficient. He reminds me of my children when they were learning to take their first steps. At first they were hesitant, sort of afraid to start. We would hold them by their fingers and sort of help them and steady them. Once they took their first steps we celebrated. They could sense our joy. Each step produced more self confidence, each step, gave them more independence, each step freed them to explore, learn, and experience more of life. Andrew is taking steps. Andrew has come to the realization that if you want something in life, you have to take the necessary steps to obtain it. Steps take time. don’t come easily and sometimes you fall and have to get up, brush yourself off, and start again. Life is not easy for Andrew, but then again it is not easy for anyone. He is learning to stand and walk on his own.

Each time I talk with Andrew he becomes more visible to me. I have a feeling he will become more visible to you, too. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him on a local stage,playing music, or in the front row listening to others play something that he has written.Even though I am a pastor, Andrew and I have never really have talked about God, the Bible or anything like that. I have never prayed with him, or preached at him. We just talk, which is fine with me. However, I do pray for Andrew privately and I know that Andrew knows something about God, as his mother took him to church as a kid. You, like Andrew, may feel that you are invisible, but you are not. God sees you, even when we don’t see him. God is walking with you each step of the way. You may wonder if Andrew has achieved all his goals. The answer is “No”. I think that taking steps toward something is actually more important than obtaining it. Andrew is achieving the goal that I have in my mind, for him to take steps, even small ones. Whether he knows it or not, God is helping Andrew take steps toward a new life. Even now, God is nudging and calling Andrew to
do something special for him. I can sense it.

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